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WJLB Morning Show caught up with Jada Pinkett-Smith to ask her about her relationship with Tupac, as well as her Marriage with Will Smith. Questions are still up about rather or not the couple really has an open-marriage. Listen to Jada’s response below & decide for yourself.

On Tupac (Audio):

“We knew us being together in a romantic way would destroy everything because we were both fire. We would burn everything up! So we knew in order to preserve our relationship there was no way we could ever add romance to it cause we probably would’ve killed each other!”

On her marriage with Will (Audio)

“We always have people that we’re attracted to that we talk about. That don’t stop just because your married. Somebody’s always gonna catch your eye. That’s real. Somebody’s gonna always be prettier than me, and somebody’s always gonna be more in awe of him than me, and he gonna be like *in Will’s voice* ‘yo she really like me’ *laughter* but as far as somebody being right for us… is there somebody right for a nice night? Maybe. But somebody that can sustain our life and sustain what we’ve built together, absolutely not!”

Listen to the full interview here

Continue reading »]]> Over at Loop21, Marc Lamont Hill posted an open letter to Slim Thug about his recent controversial blog with hurtful comments about Black women.

Even more disturbing was your comment that “Black women gotta start being down for their man more.” Since slavery, Black women have had to withstand rape, torture, and humiliation (from both white and black men) in order to sustain their families. Now, in 2010, 1 in 3 Black men between 20 and 29 years old are incarcerated or otherwise under criminal supervision. Every day, Black women are raising children without men in the house, working multiple jobs (for less pay!), and supporting brothers as they finish their prison bids.

With Black male unemployment as high as 50 percent in some cities, sisters are often holding down households without child support or other financial assistance. Black female incarceration rates are skyrocketing, partly because Black women are “riding” for their men, hiding guns and drugs, operating as mules, and refusing to snitch to authorities. In addition, Black women are the group most likely to be victims of domestic violence and the least likely to be married. Still, in spite of all this bad news, Black women are less likely to date outside their race than Black men.

How much more “down” do you want Black women to be?

Read the full letter

While Slim Thug did touch on some points, I think he should still give props where they’re due. Not all Black women are out for your evil & out for your money, and not all Black women have jacked up priorities. Shout out to Dr. Marc Lamont Hill for this open letter.

Special Thanks to Jasmine

Continue reading »]]> Slim Thug recently gave his opinion on Black women, and while everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I believe that he could have kept this to himself. He was right about both men & women needing to change their way of thinking, but he threw all Black women under the bus, and contradicted himself in the process.

It’s sad that Black women are continuously stereotyped as being Gold Diggers, Bitches, Hoes, and steadily given a bad name. Yes there are those types of females around, but when you put ALL Black women into those categories, I have a problem with that. There are too many of us ladies who are in school, have earned degrees, or are going somewhere in life, and that’s being overlooked.

…. Why should ANY woman have to settle for less??? If I’ve gone to school, gotten my degree & I’m working hard, you mean to tell me that I should settle down with a sorry-ass wanna be goon, who sits on his ass all day? Really, though? I hate to see dudes who don’t want get up & go to work, go to school, or do anything, but yet they demand to be catered to like a King, and use a female as his doormat.. And you’d expect me to stand by THAT?… Shittin’ the hell outta me!

I believe that a relationship should be 50/50 – You got my back & I got yours. I prefer to have a partner who is hard-working, in college, or at least making an effort to go somewhere in life. I will not settle for any less than that, sorry. Just like I got up & went hard for what I have accomplished in life, I expect my man to do the same. I’m one of those Black women who will stand by my man through whatever, BUT I refuse to stand by anyone who isn’t striving for success, or even trying to improve them self.

On dating White Women
I get tired of hearing Black males saying things like, “Black women too this”, or “Black women too that. That’s why I got me a White/Asian/Latino girl”. I don’t mind if you date women of another race, but when you DOWNPLAY us Black women while you do it, there’s an issue..

“Y’all gotta go through all that shit [but] my White woman is fine. She don’t give me no problems, she do whatever I say and y’all gotta do all that arguing and fighting and worry about all this other shit.”

Slim goes on to brag about his current girlfriend (who should truly be offended by his statement): “My girl is Black and White. I guess the half White in her is where she still cooks and do all the shit that I say, so we make it.” *Raises eyebrow* I thought we were supposed to be with someone, because we love & care about them?

It’s really funny that he pointed it out that him & his brother date White girls, because they “do all the shit that I say”, though. So, the problem is that most Black women won’t allow you to run over them because they have a backbone, and ALL White women are submissive & naïve. Oh, I see. .. Well, not my White female friends! Please trust & know that they’ll get with your ass if needed.

It’s okay if you don’t like to argue or be “nagged”, but what relationship doesn’t have that? Are you really that scared, or intimidated by a Black woman? Is it really that bad, that you have to run from us? To me, that simply is a sign of weakness..

“She just takes care of me and I like that. She don’t be begging and I don’t gotta buy her all this crazy ass shit. And she’s a smart girl too. She graduated from Columbia [University] and I like that about her so it’s cool.”……Oh, okay. I wasn’t aware that ALL Black women don’t cook, clean, nor do they have college degrees. I didn’t know that every Black female wants to take your money, go shopping, and depend on you 100%.… Damn.

Moving on… Slim says we don’t stick by our men. My brotha, only a man who deserves a good woman will get that type of treatment, point blank, PERIOD. And If I’m not mistaken, he had a Black woman by his side & he ruined that. He stated that the reason he & Letoya Luckett are no longer together, is because he cheated, and got the woman pregnant. *Laughs* A lot of men don’t appreciate a good, strong black woman when they have one, but yet they have the nerve to complain when they get stuck with the shitty ones lmao…GTFOH.. No woman is obligated to stand by the side of any man who is blatantly disrespectful, disloyal, or unappreciative.

If you keep getting stuck with Gold Diggers, Hoes, & Bitches, I suggest that you switch up the types of females that you approach. If you’re looking for your wifey, stop searching for her in the clubs! Quit overlooking all the negative signs that are oh so present in the beginning, and then getting upset because they screwed you over in the end. Find yourself a true strong Black woman & quit all this complaining!

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Yesterday, Slim Thug gave his opinion on Black women in a blog post featured on Vibe blog. Seems like he’s thinking one-sided & contradicting himself, but anyway read on… I’ll be back in another post with my response & feelings.

The way Black people think in general is messed up. Both men and women need to change their way of thinking. It’s hard to trust a Black woman [sometimes] because a lot of Black women’s mind frame is that the man gotta do everything for her⎯ he gotta pay for this, he gotta pay for that, and if it ain’t about money then a lot of them ain’t fucking with him. If that’s what you’re here for then I don’t want to be with you.

Most single Black women feel like they don’t want to settle for less. Their standards are too high right now. They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct. We’re important. It’s hard to find us so Black women have to bow down and let it be known that they gotta start working hard; they gotta start cooking and being down for they man more. They can’t just be running around with their head up in the air and passing all of us.

I have a brother that dates a White woman and he always be fucking with me about it saying, “Y’all gotta go through all that shit [but] my White woman is fine. She don’t give me no problems, she do whatever I say and y’all gotta do all that arguing and fighting and worry about all this other shit.”

My girl is Black and White. I guess the half White in her is where she still cooks and do all the shit that I say, so we make it. She just takes care of me and I like that. She don’t be begging and I don’t gotta buy her all this crazy ass shit. And she’s a smart girl too. She graduated from Columbia [University] and I like that about her so it’s cool. I’ve dated girls that will buy a $3,000 bag and don’t know how to pay it off on their credit cards. They walk around in these Louis Vuittons and red bottoms but they’re riding around in raggedy cars, so it’s just getting your priorities right.

White women treat they man like a king and Black women feel like they ain’t gotta do that shit. Black women need to stand by their man more. Don’t always put the pressure of if I’m fucking with you, you gotta buy me this and that. Black men are the ones that motherfuckers need [but] I think a lot of them need to step it up too. A Black man who gets a little bread will go make it rain in the club and be broke the next day or instead of him going to invest in a business he gonna go buy new jewelry or a new car and still live in the hood. Black peoples’ mentality is real fucked up in general [and] it’s affecting everything.

Black women need to be more genuine and be more 50/50 [but] It should be a fair exchange in a relationship period or eventually somebody is gonna feel like they’re getting fucked over whether it’s the woman or the man. I think that will help Black relationships out a lot. – Source

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Regina King took to her blog on Vibe.com to voice her opinion about Black women dating men of other races. Check it out:

Of all groups of people, Black women are the least likely group of women that will date outside of their race. When you have everyone else who is willing to explore but a Black woman is like, “I want me a brother,” well, if the brothers are out and they’re open to date everybody and the majority of Black women aren’t willing to look twice when a man outside of their race is sending them messages, then that makes our percentage rate lower and the chances of finding love, because we’re only looking in one specific place for finding love—with Black men.

Every single one of my girlfriends won’t date men that aren’t Black. I have maybe about five and these are people that I’m really considering my friends, not people that are associates or that you talk to or deal with at work. I have about five Black friends who date outside of their race. But all the other friends of mine, it’s either they vocally say that they won’t or every time an opportunity comes up for them to date outside of their race, there’s some excuse why it’s not going to work. They never really say it’s because he’s White, or because he’s Spanish or something like that. It’ll be more like, Well, you know he works at such and such, and our schedules don’t match.’ But we’ll know really what it is. It’s ’cause he’s White.

It’s more common here on the West Coast. I think in New York, you find more Black women that date outside of their race. But in L.A. not as many. I think Black women need to open up. A lot of Black women still carry a lot of pain when they see Black men with women who aren’t Black and that’s really unfortunate that that could make us so upset. It has to do with self esteem. With women on a whole, what a man thinks about us means so much to us. Does he think my hair is right? Does he think I look right? Does he think my ass is big enough? Does he think my titties are big enough?

And 9 chances out of 10, that man didn’t even give a fuck. He couldn’t even tell that you had a pimple that day or that your hair wasn’t done. Most men don’t even give a fuck. And the men that do that are really paying attention that hard to your ass or titties or exterior stuff, that’s probably not the best person for you anyway. One of my friends was asking me if I would set him up with one of my friends and I asked him, “What do you like in a woman?” And his first thing was “exotic.” I’m like, “What the hell does that mean?”

Regina was speaking the truth, but it truly depends on one’s preference & what they’re attracted to. I myself prefer to date Black men. I’ve never dated a man of another race, nor have I ever had one approach me before. Don’t get it twisted though – I do keep an open mind & heart when it comes to dating.

Photo: Albert Ortega

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Lawd, TMZ is reporting that Nas has to pay Kelis nearly $600,000 in Spousal + Child Support..

Nas went to court Monday over his divorce with Kelis — and walked out a little lighter in the wallet.

According to documents filed in L.A. County Superior Court, Nas had to immediately fork over $47,249.42 in back child support and $40,454 in back spousal support.

The judge also ordered Nas to pay $10,000/month in spousal support until he pays off the $299,015.50 he owes Kelis.

Nas also has to pay 90% of Kelis’ legal fees in the amount of $155,787.28.

Lastly, Nas has to pay $48,549.83 to cover Kelis’ accounting expenses.

Well dayum!..Bless his lil heart.

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There have been a lot of opinions on the latest commercial from Tiger Woods, which features the voice of his father, the late Earl Woods. Some people will never get over the fact that Tiger Woods is a man, and that he is also human. The only thing we need for Tiger to do, is to continue PLAYING GOLF. What this man does on his own personal time is him & his family’s own business.. Ya’ll would truly hate me, If I was Tiger. Wouldn’t hear a damn explanation or word from me.. lmao

I’m pretty much tired of hearing about all the cheating scandals that are being surfaced, today.I was reading somewhere on twitter & someone said: “Society will stone a man to death for betraying a White Woman. Black Women are told to just get over it.” .. Real Talk. (Shout out to @CharlotteYSmith)

I also spotted this Tiger Woods spoof @ Freddy O.

I’m so ready for The Boondocks lol.. MAY 2ND!

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Chili pretty much has the same views as myself, when it comes to relationships. Check out her blog entry about Cheating:

“My general feeling on cheating, period, whether it’s a girl cheating on a guy—because they do—or vice versa is that I don’t really understand it. We live in a country where we can choose our mate so if you’re unhappy with your mate for whatever reason, then break up. It’s pretty simple. Cheating takes too much effort. You’re hiding and doing all kinds of crazy stuff. It’s just unnecessary and it’s extremely hurtful. It’s excruciating pain.

I’ll just say this: it wasn’t that I just experienced cheating with Usher because he and I never discussed that in detail. That wasn’t the first time I experienced cheating in a relationship. I’ve never cheated but I don’t know any woman on this planet who hasn’t experienced something like that, whether it’s cheating during the relationship or cheating during a breakup, which some people don’t consider cheating because you’re not technically together but you still haven’t really broken apart.

I think women are so afraid to talk about things with guys in fear of him leaving, but if he’s going to be afraid from having a conversation, then the hell with his ass! That doesn’t make any sense. I have every right to ask you questions, you have every right to ask me questions. Now if we want to give the answers, it’s up to us but there’s nothing wrong with that because how else will you find out?

A lot of people out there are really good at hiding things and making it seem like everything is normal so you don’t suspect that they’re cheating. Usually things don’t work out, not because of a cheating situation. It could just be just compatibility. Most people, in my opinion, that are together and even married shouldn’t even be together. A lot of times you just have somebody in your life because you feel like you need someone in your life. You feel like you need a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Those are your own insecurities.

When you truly, truly love somebody and it’s a healthy love, you always want to make sure you’re healthy yourself before entering a relationship and give that person your time. That’s why they call it dating. Dating doesn’t mean we’re sleeping together. Dating doesn’t mean I’m your girlfriend, you’re my boyfriend. It means that we are exclusively dating each other trying to get to know each other, figure out each other’s personalities, see if we click, if our morals are intact—all those things. And then you can graduate to the next level of the relationship.“

Continue reading »]]> Jill Scott recently made a commentary in Essence, where she spoke on Interracial Dating. Scott, described a “pinching” feeling that she, and many other Black Women feel when they realize that a Black Man is in a relationship with a White Woman.

My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn’t marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit…wince. I didn’t immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.

Was I jealous? Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul’s credibility? The answer is not simple. One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that’s not how I was brought up. I was reared in a Jehovah’s Witness household. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me. African people worldwide are known to be welcoming and open-minded. We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love. My position is that for women of color, this very common “wince” has solely to do with the African story in America.

When our people were enslaved, “Massa” placed his Caucasian woman on a pedestal. She was spoiled, revered and angelic, while the Black slave woman was overworked, beaten, raped and farmed out like cattle to be mated. She was nothing and neither was our Black man. As slavery died for the greater good of America, and the movement for equality sputtered to life, the White woman was on the cover of every American magazine. She was the dazzling jewel on every movie screen, the glory of every commercial and television show. She was unequivocally the standard of beauty for this country, firmly unattainable to anyone not of her race. We daughters of the dust were seen as ugly, nappy mammies, good for day work and unwanted children, while our men were thought to be thieving, sex-hungry animals with limited brain capacity.

We reflect on this awful past and recall that if a Black man even looked at a White woman, he would have been lynched, beaten, jailed or shot to death. In the midst of this, Black women and Black men struggled together, mourned together, starved together, braved the hoses and vicious police dogs and died untimely on southern back roads together. These harsh truths lead to what we really feel when we see a seemingly together brother with a Caucasian woman and their children. That feeling is betrayed. While we exert efforts to raise our sons and daughters to appreciate themselves and respect others, most of us end up doing this important work alone, with no fathers or like representatives, limited financial support (often court-enforced) and, on top of everything else, an empty bed. It’s frustrating and it hurts!

Our minds do understand that people of all races find genuine love in many places. We dig that the world is full of amazing options. But underneath, there is a bite, no matter the ointment, that has yet to stop burning. Some may find these thoughts to be hurtful. That is not my intent. I’m just sayin’.

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