I was on Twitter and ran across a topic to discuss..It was posted by @BlackWomen, and it says:
After thinking about, I really would prefer to live with my man before we marry. I want to know how he lives and how our future would be, but I would need to have a “Ring on it” (meaning be Engaged!). I come from a Christian family from the South, where they not too fond of what they call, “Shacking Up”. I know plenty of my friends whose families also feel the same way, but I think there a time where some of these Old Skool Beliefs need to be lightened up on.
I believe in the saying that, “You truly don’t know a person until you’ve lived with them”. This statement is true, and if you’re a college student who has lived in the dorms, or had to get a roommate, you know this is a fact. I think of the living together as the final process in the relationship that decides rather or not I can actually see myself with this person for the rest of our lives -because who knows?? Your partner may be a totally different person when you live with them. They may turn out to be nasty, junky, abusive, use drugs, parties too much, or is just plain lazy. I would rather find out how living will be before marriage, than to have a rude awakening afterward.
Living with your partner, can either benefit your relationship or it can cause trouble. If it causes major issues when you’re not married, then it will most likely cause them during your marriage..
I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want to be married to someone that needs to have a separate home, because you both can’t stand living together. So I think of it this way -If living together doesn’t work out…You saved yourself some money lmao! And when I say you saved yourself some money, I mean from: spending money on a wedding ceremony, living expenses, to filing for divorce, and extra costs.
I would like to hear some other thoughts and views on this topic; so my question is:
2 comments
Vibrant1 says:
June 23, 2009 at 11:22 PM (UTC -5 )
With shacking up…I think it's a good idea to have two separate places before your married, even though it's expensive! lol When you get tired of him or get into an argument you can go to your own places. You know somebody is going to be over somebody's house alot so it's kind of like living together, and you see what it's like to be with that person. SO once we are married or engaged than it's cool to live together!
Busy B says:
June 24, 2009 at 12:21 AM (UTC -5 )
I feel like the only time people should live together is if they are engaged and plan to get married within the same yr…cause too many people move in together and then break up. I also think people move in together for convenience…splitting bills or one person doesmt have anywhere to stay. I just think u should b sure cause dating n living together are two different situations.